It seems like the answer to everything I said as a youth was the same-- “Life is all about choices.” Me: “I should not have eaten that twelfth piece of cheesecake.” Mom: “Life is all about choices.” Me: “I don’t know where to go to college.” Mom: “Life is all about choices.” Me: “I’m exhausted.” Mom: “Life is all about choices.” Me: “I can’t decide what to wear.” Mom: “Life is all about choices.” Anyway, you catch my drift. Sometimes that response was really frustrating, and my brain was saying, “Seriously Mom! Can’t you just give me the answer!” Imagine my surprise when I finally realized she had been giving me the answer the whole time.
The truth is, life is all about choices. My life is a compilation of the choices I’ve made. I chose to go to South Summit High School. I chose to take piano lessons. I chose to be obedient to my parents and become their friend. I chose to marry Tyler instead of serve a mission. Even simple things like choosing to wake up on time can define your day, and eventually your life. Is that too intense? Maybe it is. I do think it’s true though.
My mom has a lot of wisdom. She’s the smartest woman I know. She doesn’t have a college degree, but if I have a question, I know she can answer it. She has always shown me that I am important to her, and she always expressed (and expresses) her gratitude and love for me when I talk to her. When I was in seventh grade, my best friend moved away. It was devastating. It’s the first time I really remember feeling alone. I had been alone before that, but it never seemed like a big deal until after Kayla moved. I guess it’s because I had finally glimpsed real, true friendship and companionship for the first time, and my dramatic twelve-year-old self felt like that was all gone after my best friend moved. Anyway, it was hard, and I felt like no one liked me. Even after I found another group of friends to hang out with, I didn’t hang out outside of my house very much.
At that point, I noticed something. All of a sudden, my whole family was staying home on Friday nights. My parents weren’t going on dates without the kids as much, and my siblings hung closer to home. We made a tradition of watching a movie accompanied by popcorn and muddy buddies. It wasn’t until I was older, that I realized that my parents did that for me. They knew that I felt alone. They knew that I felt like no one wanted to hang out with me, so they made a point of choosing to spend time with me. I want to be a parent like that someday.
My mom headed up our slurpee run tradition. She always seems to know when I need her and when my heart is heavy. She’s my best friend and my hero. I’ve actually been composing this post in my head for several weeks, and now that I’m writing, it’s really just a jumble. I couldn’t write before because sometimes I really miss her. Even though I’m really happy, and I have a wonderful life, there are times that I just need my mom. There’s something really special about a mother’s relationship with her children that I don’t fully understand yet. It’s something that I don’t think I’ll be able to really grasp until I have children of my own, but my mom gave me a taste of that sacred, beautiful relationship by the way she has constantly loved and cared for me.
Even though I didn’t enter her life until she was 22, I feel like I know her better than almost anyone else does. I watched her love and serve everyone around her. I noticed when she was in pain with kidney stones or heartbroken for various reasons. I was a witness to her sickness every time she prepared to bring another child into the world. I saw her be a loyal friend and a wonderful visiting teacher. She taught me to be a woman, a wife, and a good person. Because of her, I know how to cook, play, serve, clean, sew, laugh, work, cry, and everything else. The truth is, everything I’ve learned has been facilitated by my mom’s love for me.
My mom didn’t raise me alone though. My dad is an amazing person as well. I’ve never seen two people that work together as well as they do. I always felt safe in the comfort of my home growing up, and I knew that my parents loved each other intensely. It was the perfect example of what marriage should be. The best endorsement I ever got from my parents came on the morning of my wedding day when they told me that if they had picked my spouse for me, they could not have chosen anyone better for me than Tyler Johns. They’ve always supported me, but hearing them validate my life choices and my path brought more joy into my life than I could have even imagined.My parents taught me to love the scriptures and to seek personal guidance from the spirit in everything I choose to do. The years that I was a misguided and melodramatic preteen were hard on our relationship, but my parents never failed to show me that they loved me even though I was making their job harder and putting undue strain on our relationship. My parents taught me to choose the right and to make choices that I wouldn’t regret. I think I turned out pretty okay, and I have my parents and other amazing mentors to thank for that, so when I am a parent, I will tell my own children that life is all about choices. My life is wonderful, and it is all about choices.
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| An oldie, but a goodie. I'm a little tired of only using wedding pictures on here. |
