Deja Vu

My sister Hailey just started college a month ago. While Tyler was in New York and I was here, I got to spend a lot of time with her. It's been so fun to be in the same city again and to be able to get together without it being an ordeal. It's also offered an interesting opportunity for reflection. I met Ty the day before I started classes. Even though Hailey doesn't think she's met her soulmate yet, I've been reflecting a lot on my own experience.

I've written before about how the timing of my marriage to Tyler wasn't what I had planned and how blessed I've been on God's timeline instead of my own. It's a lesson I think I'm going to keep learning over and over again. In my mind, I always thought that around my second wedding anniversary we would be ready to talk about having kids. If that were the case, I wouldn't be pregnant yet.

In March I felt very strongly that we needed to consider our family planning timeline. It was a crazy time for us. Ty was about to graduate, and he was trying to get a full time job lined up, but he hadn't heard anything yet. I was just trying to survive the semester, but the prompting persisted. One night in the temple, Tyler and I knew that having a baby needed to be on our radar sooner than we had planned.

I was again struck by the fact that this wasn't what I had thought it would be. I wanted to graduate first. I wanted Tyler to have his own insurance for our family. I wanted to be a little more established. Instead, I elected to place my trust in God. Tyler was offered his position at Goldman Sachs before I found out I was pregnant, and that blessing alleviated many of my concerns.

Finding out I was pregnant was a joyous moment. I've never wanted to be anything more than I've wanted to be a mother, and now that blessing is being extended to me. Like most wonderful opportunities, it's changed my plans. I won't be graduating in April 2016, but I honestly feel peaceful about that. I'm still going to finish my degree; it will just be on an extended deadline. I know that my education is important, but I also know that right now is the time for me to become a mother, and that's a gift.