So Far, So Good

Best Buddies

When Will was born, I wasn't in a rush to get on a schedule. Being a stay at home mom and having only one child meant that I could go with the flow relatively well. Basically, for the last 7 months I've breastfed on demand and put Will down for a nap when he acts tired. It's been on about a 3 hour rotation for a while, but it isn't really very structured. I like having flexibility in our day, and I feel like Will thrives on it even though I know other babies might not. I'm not saying it's the only way to live with a baby, but it works for us.

Over the course of the summer I've felt anxious about his lack of a schedule, knowing that he'll be spending two afternoons a week with his grandmas. Miraculously, over the last few weeks, Will has developed a pretty clear schedule with no help from me. He eats on the hour at multiples of 3. He takes 3 naps a day that fit right in there. It's been a huge blessing and a relief. The only other major thing that concerned me when it came to leaving him was breastfeeding.

After our rough start with breastfeeding, I wasn't sure how long we'd stick with it, but now Will is still going strong, and neither of us are ready to wean. In conjunction with that reality is my love/hate relationship with my breast pump. Although I'm grateful for the convenience of being able to pump when I need to and the fact that it helped my supply issue, I really hate pumping, and the thought of pumping in the car on my commute to UVU makes me want to scream in frustration.

So I decided that I won't do it. Instead, Will's 3:00 afternoon feeding has been replaced with baby food instead of breast milk. We've been doing this for the last few weeks, and to my relief, Will has been doing really well. That makes me happy, and it's actually helped me feel better about leaving him. (Plus, it means no more mid-church meeting breastfeeding sessions. Can I get a ”hallelujah?!”)

I think subconsciously one of my worries is that Will will learn to prefer someone else to me, and selfishly, I want to be Will's favorite. I've really enjoyed having a mama’s boy around who just wants snuggles from me and only me sometimes. I'm just not ready to lose that yet, but today, after all the prayers I've offered and the tears I've cried, it's finally okay with me. If Will is ready to move away from me a little, I can let him. Happily, he still loves to snuggle with me. He's been a little more clingy since I went back to school, but overall, it's been good just like I knew it would. And hey, only 28 more classes until I'm finished!