Rosemary's Birth

Rosemary Johns
7 lbs 3 oz 
20 1/2 inches
November 21, 2022

Early in my pregnancy, I had the impression that my baby was going to be born later than my due date. This was interesting because my other three babies all came within 7 hours of my due date. I was grateful for the impression and was able to adjust my mindset so that I wasn't depressed or upset when this baby didn't come on her due date. Starting at about 37 weeks, I started having contractions. They were stronger than Braxton Hicks, but they weren't labor-like at all. I could talk, eat, and sometimes even sleep through them. I knew it was my body's way of getting ready to birth, so they really didn't bother me much.

The kids were thrilled that a practice labor 
meant they could swim in the birth tub.

On Saturday the 19th, I started having stronger contractions, and they were every five minutes. After about an hour of this, I called my mom and the midwife, and they headed to my house. The contractions were strong and consistent for four hours, and then they stopped altogether. When the midwife left, I was dilated to a 3, 50% effaced. I was so discouraged. I had never experienced practice labor before even though it's super common in subsequent pregnancies. It was a game of mental gymnastics to think that I was going to meet my baby and then to go to bed with no contractions happening and no baby. It also undermined my confidence a bit. I wondered how I could be so out of touch with my body and this baby. I was concerned that maybe I wouldn't recognize actual labor when it started in earnest. 

Sunday, I was completely exhausted. Ty took the kids to church, insisting that I stay home and rest. I spent the morning sobbing off and on. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. After my meltdown though, I felt pretty good. My family came up and brought dinner, and we played some games. I had a few contractions, but they were super sporadic and not strong. When my family left, my mom offered to stay, and I told her to go home, insisting that nothing was happening, and she might as well sleep in her own bed. I promised to call her if I needed her and to check in in the morning. 

About 20 minutes after my parents left, I lost my mucus plug. I had never noticed when that happened before, so it was interesting to me, but I also know that losing your mucus plug doesn't necessarily mean much. Labor could still be days away, and I hadn't had any contractions in hours. 

Ty and I went to bed around 10, and once I was in bed, I started having contractions every 15 minutes or so. They were strong enough that I couldn't sleep, but it felt just like the practice labor from the night before. Around 11:15, I got in the bath hoping that that would stop the contractions so that I could get a good night of sleep. The contractions slowed down in the tub but didn't go away. I got out just before midnight and prayed fervently that if I was in labor, I would know for sure and that if I wasn't, the contractions would mellow out enough that I'd be able to sleep. 

At 12:01, just after I finished my prayer, I had a contraction that literally drove me to my knees. I had another one five minutes later, and then another one. They were so intense. I called my mom and explained what was happening. I told her I was pretty sure that it was labor but that I wasn't totally confident. I asked her to pray with me on the phone. She started to pray and as she asked that things would be clear, I was hit with a huge surge, requiring me to breathe and vocalize through it. My mom told me she was on her way. I asked her to call my sister, Hailey, and I called the midwife. 

I was still having a solid 5 minutes between contractions, so I got the hose hooked up to fill the birth tub and went in to wake up Ty. I told him I was in labor, and he said, "Okay, just a minute." I went back into the living room (my labor space) and sunk to my knees as I worked with the contractions. The midwife, Eve, arrived sooner than I anticipated, and I was in the midst of a contraction. She came and knelt next to me, rubbing my back and providing counter pressure and reassuring words while she listened to the baby's heart rate. She was also able to place my IV, a precaution to give me IV pitocin to stave off a hemorrhage due to my history of blood loss. We labored together that way for several minutes. It was a beautiful experience. Eve has cared for me at The Birth Center for over 7 years, through all 4 pregnancies, births, a miscarriage, a transfer from home to hospital, trauma, postpartum, and more, but this was the first time I've ever really gotten to labor with her. It felt like a gift to have her there.  During that time, the birth assistant, Kate, arrived and started filling the tub and setting out equipment, and I started to wonder where Ty was. 

Between contractions I went to use the bathroom and found Ty still in bed with no recollection of me trying to wake him. I found him at exactly the wrong point in his sleep cycle. Poor guy. He got up and was totally disoriented, especially because when he came into the living room, Eve, Kate, and my mom were all there ready to go, and things were so intense for me, I was ready to get in the tub. Historically, Tyler and I have had some time to labor together before we got to that point. I got into the tub, and at about 1:30 am, Hailey arrived. I had a few more contractions, and we tried to decide if we should wake up Will who we planned to have at the birth at his request. I felt like the baby was still kind of high, and I didn't want to wake him too soon and have him up too long. 

I asked for a cervical check just to gauge how close we were. Cervical checks aren't routinely done by my midwives, and it was the first time I had ever asked for one or even had one in the throes of labor (with the exception of Simon's birth which was in a hospital). I was at a 9, and in Eve's words, my cervix was "melting away." I had one more contraction and asked Hailey to go get Will. The two of them snuggled up on the couch. We had had a lot of conversations about labor and birth so that he would know what to expect. He was a little nervous when he heard the sounds I was making, but he was quickly reassured. 

A few minutes after he got settled, I decided to push. I had felt like I could push at any time, but I wanted to really maximize my energy, so I was able to be patient up to that point. I pushed, and felt the baby move down, immediate and apparent progress. I pushed a second time, and I heard Eve say, "You are so good at this," and felt my water break. Immediately after, I felt her head. My favorite part of labor is when I can feel the baby's head with my hands before they are born. It's this beautiful in-between moment when baby is still cozy in my body, but I know I get to meet them soon. Every time it gives me the boost I need to do the hard work of pushing. This time it triggered a sort of exhilarated laugh/sob. Her head was born into my hands. I stood up, Ty physically holding me up, my mom's hands underneath mine, Eve there, guiding and supporting, and she was born. I sank back down into the tub. It was 1:57 am, less than two hours of active labor.

Eve started the pitocin right away, and my mom helped Will come around the tub to see the baby. She was pink immediately and had the best APGARs of all my babies. Will was really concerned about her crying and just wanted her to feel better. I rested in the tub for a bit, and Ty and I toasted the birth with homemade apple cider. We marveled at this perfect little human, obviously the tiniest of our babies and settled on Rosemary for her name, Rosie for short. I was about ready to get out of the tub when she decided she wanted to nurse, so I ended up staying in longer. Will carefully dumped the warm water over Rosie's body to keep her comfortably warm. I had super minimal bleeding which was a huge relief. My membranes took a little longer to come, but Eve was patient and right there with me, and they came fully intact. It was such a relief on the heels of the major issues I experienced after Bea's birth. 

We moved into my room, and I had a nice snuggle in bed with Will and Rosie and Ty. It was such a precious moment. Will was so in love with her. My mom and Hailey made us breakfast sandwiches. I didn't have any tearing, and I felt great. I was able to get up and use the bathroom. We had the infant exam bedside. Will helped Eve every step of the way, and I was grateful all over again for a birth team that truly serves my whole family. We all guessed Rosie's weight, and I guessed exactly right, 7 lbs 3 oz, 20.5 inches. Will got her footprints stamped on his forearms, and he was so proud of his "baby sister tattoo." Eve identified a lip tie and tongue tie, and we decided to see how breastfeeding went before we would decide what to do about those. 

Ty took Will to bed around 4 am despite his insistence that he wasn't tired and could stay up all night to take care of Rosie. Ty convinced him that he needed some rest to take care of her the best that he could. Ty and I settled into bed shortly after that, but I had a hard time falling asleep, and Rosie really just wanted me to hold her, not to be set down. I went back into the living room and was able to debrief and chat with Eve, Kate, and my mom for a little while before Eve and Kate went home to their own families and my mom went to sleep downstairs. 

I had about a half an hour with just Rosie and me as we rocked in the rocking chair, knowing her older siblings would wake up anytime. She is so sweet and so little. I was able to just bask in the gratitude of her safe arrival. When I first heard Will and Simon wake up, I was so excited. I heard Will telling Simon all about the baby. They came running out. Simon and Bea were so excited to meet their baby sister, and Will proudly told them about her birth and showed off his tattoos which Simon and Bea were very jealous of. (Luckily, they got their own baby stamps the next morning at our home visit). Eve came back Monday night and performed a frenectomy to correct Rosie's lip and tongue ties. Then she came back on Tuesday morning to help release her tongue a little more after a rough night of nursing struggles. This was my first experience with any ties, and it has definitely made breastfeeding more difficult and more painful, but it really does feel like a small struggle in the face of all that was beautiful and good and miraculous and healing about this birth. We're so happy to have our sweet baby Rosie earthside.

Processing Simon's Birth

I'm still trying to process Simon's birth emotionally. It was so far from what I wanted it to be and how I thought it would go that I'm having trouble reconciling feelings of hurt and anger that hit me at unpredictable times. For the most part, I love having a baby. I enjoy the snuggles and the sweet Spirit that accompanies them. I like breastfeeding and rocking them. I like that when they're sad, a lot of times just holding them is all they need. I appreciate that as the mom, I'm usually their favorite human. But this newborn phase has been different in that I'm dealing with pent up feelings surrounding Simon's birth.

Lately I just keep thinking of things that I should have said to the doctors and nurses to advocate for myself and have a birth that at least resembled the birth I wanted to have. Then I'm filled with anger and despair because based on my experience, I'm not convinced anyone would have listened anyway. And I feel defensive and think about how it's really unfair and unrealistic for me to have to be advocating for myself when I was trying to birth a baby which is such an all-consuming process.

Mostly I'm upset that I didn't get to spend the first few hours of Simon's life skin-to-skin with him, soaking up the snuggles. And a secondary frustration is that I don't have any pictures of when I first met him. Our plan was that my sister, Hailey, was going to take pictures of Simon's birth, but when we ended up going to the hospital, she stayed at our apartment with Will until my mother-in-law could get there. There were plenty of people just standing around in the birth room, but none of them took a picture of Ty and I with our brand new baby. My mom, the only person who did take a picture, was anxiously engaged in the birth and couldn't get a picture for a few minutes.

I oscillate between overwhelming anger and profound sadness that leaves me in tears at random and inconvenient times. Thinking about the way my baby was whisked away before we could really enjoy physical connection and bonding makes my heart ache. And the fact that when he was brought back from being suctioned and evaluated, he was wrapped up and no longer available for skin-to-skin makes me angry. I did spend more time doing skin-to-skin later, but it wasn't the same as it would have been right away. I know that from past experience, and I feel robbed. It brings up the constant feeling I had throughout my hospital stay of being disregarded in my wishes and intuition as a mother which was a complete 180 from my experiences with The Birth Center, feeling constantly supported and validated as a human being and mother.

"Love at first sight. I've been looking through birth photos today,
and I just had to share this beauty from when #babywilliamclark
 was only minutes old. I can hardly believe that my heart can open
up to another baby as much as it did for Will, but I know it will.
I already love this new baby so much, and I can't wait to
 have another moment like this."

I came across this Instagram post the other day. Often when I'm nursing Simon, Will climbs into my lap, and we look through pictures from when he was a baby or through past Instagram posts. This post was so full of hope for Simon's birth. Of course it resulted in tears from me and questions from my toddler. Things didn't go the way I hoped.

It's hard to communicate all this when people ask me how I'm doing. I don't mean to minimize the miracles of Simon's birth- there were many. I'm not taking his health for granted. I'm disappointed that his birth and first day of life weren't as peaceful and empowering and beautiful as they could have been, and I know that from experience. I'm grateful once again for the wisdom and understanding of my midwives, one of which said, “Just because having a healthy baby is the most important thing doesn't mean it's the only important thing.” That wisdom has really helped me to have the permission I needed to feel such a wide range of emotions without comparing myself to others or minimizing my experience.

Eve, the midwife who stayed with us through Simon's birth, has been so helpful as I've processed my experience and grieved the loss of the birth I hoped for as well as the loss of the precious first few hours of Simon's life. I'm also grateful for an understanding mom who not only understands and loves me, but also loves and understands birth. I really appreciate friends and family who have let me talk through my experience without judgement as well. I love Simon. I'm so grateful that he arrived safely. I'm glad I have such a strong support system and outstanding postpartum care. I'm going to continue having to process and reconcile experiences with Simon's birth, but I'm grateful to not be doing it alone.

Simon's Birth Story

 

Most people I've talked to in the last little while know that I have been antsy to have my baby for a few weeks. What most people don't know is that I have also had the impression throughout my pregnancy that something intense was going to go down. There was a placental bleed in the first trimester when I thought I was going to miscarry, but even after that resolved, I felt like something was going to go wrong. That's not normal for me. I'm a pretty optimistic person, and I had a normal, low risk pregnancy both times with no red flags. I'm grateful for those impressions so that I was somewhat emotionally prepared for the challenges that came with this birth.

Ty and I planned on a home birth this time, and we were all ready to go. Ty submitted his final project for the semester at 11:59 pm on March 18th (baby's due date), and we went to bed. At 2, I woke up feeling a pretty intense contraction. I didn't want to pay attention too soon, but I couldn't sleep through them, and they were coming every 5-7 minutes. I took a shower and ate a snack, and the contractions stayed consistent. My labor with Will was 18 hours, so I was trying to settle in for the long haul, but things felt so much more intense this time around. I debated about calling my midwife or waiting, and I settled on calling her.

I talked to Eve at 4:30, and then texted my mom and sister to have them head to the house for the birth. Eve got there at 5:15, and Hailey and my mom were about 5 or 10 minutes after that. The first thing Eve did was listen to the baby's heart tones through a few contractions, and it was obvious that there were major decelerations happening at the peak of each contraction. At that point I was dilated to a 6, but baby's heart tones were problematic. We said a prayer together, and Tyler gave me a blessing, and we knew we needed to go to the hospital.

Because we had planned on a home birth, I didn't have a hospital bag packed, so we will threw a few things together and rushed to the hospital which is normally 15 minutes away (it took us 10 to get there). We left Hailey with Will, waiting for Tyler's mom. We got to the hospital at 6:20, and my contractions were consistently getting more intense, and baby's heart rate was still decelerating with each one. Luckily, he was recovering quickly between contractions, but since the most likely problem was a pinching in the cord, he needed to be born. I had progressed to an 8, and at the suggestion of the attending nurse, we decided to break my water.

When the doctor broke my water, there was meconium in it which is another risk factor, and baby really needed to be born now. Unfortunately, the doctors wanted me to labor on my back or side which made the contractions infinitely more painful. I asked if I could move to my hands and knees on the bed, and they didn't really want me to, but I had the strongest impression that I really needed to be on my knees. My mom and Ty and a nurse helped me turn over, and it felt so much better. The contractions were still intense, but I felt like I could cope better. I stayed that way through one contraction, and when the next came, I felt the urge to push, but the Spirit told me to wait. I know that I was only able to progress those last few centimeters because I followed the Spirit and changed positions, and if I had pushed during that contraction, the baby would have been in distress until another contraction had come so I could push him out.

I turned back over to my back at the insistence of the doctors, and when the next contraction came, I pushed three times, and he was born. The cord was wrapped around his head almost like a set of headphones which was why he'd had the decels as he descended. It was so fast and chaotic, but we were all glad that he came quickly and without the need for surgery. It was 7:36 am, barely more than an hour since we had arrived. They set the baby on my chest and worked to get him to cry. He did cry, and I delivered the placenta with no complications and no hemorrhage this time, so that was lovely. Unfortunately, because of the meconium, so he had to go to the NICU for a little while. He was 8 pounds 7 ounces and 21.25 inches long, and his weight was taken after he had pooped a couple of times. He’s almost a full pound heavier and over an inch taller than Will was at birth.

Tyler went with him, and I stayed in labor and delivery with my mom and Hailey and Eve. It was strange not to have my baby or Ty or Will with me. I felt sad without them. Ty and I hadn't agreed on a name, so he was nameless and not with his mama for a couple of hours. We were finally able to visit the NICU after a little while, and baby's respiration was quite good, but there were no doctors or nurses in sight to release him, and I had to get checked in upstairs, so I left my husband and baby again. It was even worse to leave them the second time. Ty finally brought him in when it was 11ish, and I was finally able to breastfeed the baby and talk about names. I'll write another time about the meaning behind his name, but we decided to name him Simon Robert Johns. I love the name and the baby.

We felt good to go at that point, and we wanted a 12 hour discharge, but the pediatrician wouldn't agree to that due to the meconium. We looked over the against medical advice forms, and I really wanted to go home to my own home and bed. The midwives at The Birth Center are always on call, and I felt like we would be in great hands with them. Ty even called our insurance to see if leaving AMA would cause a problem with our claim (it wouldn't). The hospital staff pretty much withdrew care when we mentioned that we might leave earlier than suggested. It was actually nice to have a break from the constant interruptions, but it was also concerning because no one was taking vitals or monitoring anything, and no one ever actually laid out the risks of going home early until Tyler pressed the nurse for an answer. We ultimately decided that I would stay with Simon and my mom would be backup, so Ty could go home and be with Will overnight in order to disrupt his life as little as possible. We felt kind of bullied into staying, and I think we'd have been fine, but Ty is naturally risk averse, and we decided that I might be able to rest better and take better care of Simon without worrying about Will too.

We live so close to the hospital that Ty actually went home and napped for a couple of hours in the afternoon before coming back to the hospital. I was able to nap off and on which was nice, but I think my mom was up for most of 24 hours without rest. She's amazing, and I'm so grateful to have her as part of my birth team and cheerleading section in general. It's been so nice to have her support. So far, Simon has been a much sleepier newborn than his older brother (who seriously never slept), but we still had a tough first night, and I wouldn't have survived without my mom.

Through the night (from about 2 am-4 am), Simon’s respiration rate was high. Because of the meconium in the fluid that puts him at risk for pneumonia if paired with a fever or other symptoms. Simon didn’t have any other symptoms, thank goodness, and by 6 am, his rates were normal and healthy. I wasn’t worried about his respiration through the night because he was crying a lot and was struggling to breastfeed during the times when the nurses were checking his vitals, and that obviously makes the rate higher, but the on call pediatrician didn’t seem to care about circumstances or anything else we had to say. She wanted to keep Simon another 24 hours even though my mom is a birth assistant who has neonatal resuscitation credentials and medical training and was going home with us, and we have access to a midwife who is on call 24/7 who can better support our care since she actually knows us and is willing to come to our house if needed.

As I thought and prayed about it, I felt comfortable with the decision to go home. We had to sign an AMA form, but I was not impressed with the pediatrician. She did not explain any risks we were assuming, nor did she tell us what to look for in Simon as warning signs that we needed to return to the hospital. It was an experience that assured me again that as William and Simon’s parents, Ty and I are the ones who ultimately have the stewardship over their health and well-being. I think it’s too bad that so many doctors are unwilling to really listen to parents or even try to understand their perspective. (I know there are good ones too. I just didn’t happen to come in contact with any through this experience). So we took our baby away from the hospital against medical advice, and I have to say: I feel so much better being at home. Simon is breathing really well. We’ve gotten more rest. Will gets to be with us. And I don’t see any downsides to our decision. I’m so grateful that we have the Spirit to help us make these decisions because otherwise, I think this would have been another depressing day in the hospital rather than a chance to be all together as a family and start recovering from an intense birth.

Overall, our outcomes were good, but this birth was nothing like the home birth I had pictured. It was fast and furious and pure chaos, but Simon has such a sweet and relaxed personality which has made the experience sweeter. The highlight was definitely when Will came to meet his brother. I wasn't sure how much he understood about the baby brother in my belly being an actual human, but as soon as he came in the hospital room, he knew his brother and was enamored with him. He didn't want anyone else to have a turn holding him, and he was so sweet with him. It melted my heart and made the train wreck of the morning worth it.

This was not the birth I wanted or had planned, and that's been hard and emotional, and I'm sad about it which is okay. It doesn't mean I don't love my baby or that I'm not grateful for hospitals and medical professionals, but I'm allowed to be sad, and I am. I'm counting my blessings that Simon is doing well and was born without surgery. I'm humbled that he was released from the NICU relatively quickly. I'm so glad I didn't need an epidural, so I could walk around immediately and feel ready to go right away. Most of all, I'm grateful for constant promptings from the Spirit that brought Simon safely here. My heart is truly overflowing.

FAQs at 39 Weeks

How are you?

Tired. Excited. Sick of being pregnant.

Are you dilating at all?

The Birth Center doesn’t do routine cervical checks since it’s not an accurate indication of when the baby will born and can actually hinder the natural process of dilation and effacement, so I have no idea. I’m just letting my body do its thing.

Have you had a lot of contractions?
Nope. None. I'm trying not to be discouraged by this, but aside from millions of Braxton Hicks that aren't intense enough to even draw my attention, there have been no contractions to speak of.

When is your due date?

March 18th is my due date. It feels like a million years away.

When will you be induced?

The Birth Center also doesn’t do traditional induction. If I get to almost 42 weeks, I’ll do some natural and homeopathic things to try to bring on labor. If the baby isn’t born, I’ll have to transfer to a hospital for traditional induction.

Were you early or late with Will?

Will was born right on his due date, so I feel like I have no frame of reference for whether this baby will be early or late. It’s more maddening this time around for some reason.

How do you think Will will do when the baby is born?

A couple of months ago, I was terrified of the prospect of WIll’s adjustment to life with a sibling, but I’m actually feeling cautiously optimistic now. He loves babies, and he talks about baby brother all the time. He’s also started asking to hold babies and kiss them, and he loves to get the baby’s diapers out of the dresser for me too. I know it won’t be totally smooth, but I’m feeling positive and hoping we have more happiness than tears.

If you need me, I'll be over here, bouncing on my exercise ball, sipping my red raspberry leaf tea, and praying this baby comes soon.

Mamas and Bodies: A Tribute to My Mom

My mom has taught me a lot about life and love and sorrow and struggle. She’s my number one role model, and she is a fantastic mother. She’s someone who strives to be the best in every capacity she fills. Something I’ve been reflecting on as I prepare to give birth again is my relationship with my body, and it isn’t hard to see that the root of my feelings about my body come back to my mom.

I feel like I have a healthy body image. I trust my body. I do my best to take care of it. I know that it’s strong and powerful and a miraculous gift. And the reason I feel so positively about my body and empowered to do hard things physically is because of the way my mom talked to me about bodies and the way that she treated her own body as well. It wasn’t until I was a teenager that I realized how rare it is to have such overwhelmingly positive feelings about my body.

My mom is strong, and when I think back on my childhood, that is easy to recognize. She used to rollerblade, pushing a stroller, to drop Hailey and me off at school. Now she has a physically intense job as a birth assistant where she uses all her muscle groups to help women give birth. She’s always talked about exercise positively, and I never heard her speak negatively about anyone’s body, including her own. She never called me skinny or chubby. When we talked about bodies, she would talk about being healthy and feeling strong.

We didn’t talk about or focus on sizes or weight in my house growing up. I don’t think it was something I ever even thought about. Even when my mom was working hard to lose weight after having babies, it wasn’t about getting down to a certain size or weight. It was about feeling comfortable in her clothes that she had worn before pregnancy and feeling strong and healthy rather than skinny. I’m grateful that that was the focus because even now I don’t worry about my weight or my size as long as I feel strong and healthy.

I also appreciate that my parents taught me about food. My mom taught me to cook. She always provided fruit and vegetables, and she explained the way metabolism works. I still vividly remember her describing the importance of breakfast in pulling your body out of starvation mode and starting your day off well. It’s something that made a huge difference in my college experience because I knew that it was important to eat before class. She talked to us about portion control. She also made and ate cookies with us. She wasn’t starving herself or only eating kale.

My mom wasn’t critical about what I chose to put into my body either. She would ask me sometimes if I had eaten anything with any nutritional value that day, but she didn’t make me feel guilty if I had three helpings of dinner or if I snitched a cookie out of the freezer. The lack of shame that I feel about food and my body is a gift that my parents gave me, and it’s one that I am super grateful as an adult.

I remember when my mom explained menstruation to me. She used words like miraculous, strong, and powerful. I learned that my body is a gift and that it is capable of incredible feats. It was a similar experience whenever my parents would teach my siblings and me about childbirth. I never had fear about those physical experiences. I actually was excited to give birth even as a teenager because my mom talked about what a spiritual experience it was and how empowering it could be to realize that you could accomplish anything.

My mom has taught me more than any other human on this Earth (with my dad’s help), and I am so grateful that she is the example of womanhood that I have continually seen. I hope I can be a strong role model for my children and teach them about the beauty and power of our bodies.

Birth Quotes That Empower

My quotes
They are readable in person.

When I consider my experience giving birth to Will, the word that always comes to mind is empowerment. In the moments (and now over a year) after Will’s birth, I truly felt like I could accomplish anything. A huge piece of this empowerment goes to my incredible birth team who helped me have the experience that I wanted to have. I cannot credit The Birth Center enough. Their team is amazing, and their facility is pristine. I also credit The Bradley Method which is a class that offers so much information and teaches so many tools for navigating labor and delivery. I highly recommend it to anyone who is having a baby. But at the end of the day, I am the one who birthed my son (with the help of my Savior, as with everything).

I chose to have Will at The Birth Center without pain medication. I know that isn’t everyone’s choice, and I think it’s wonderful that I live in a place where I have so many options surrounding birth because that is not every woman’s experience. Whatever your plan or hopes are for your birth experience, here is a universal truth: birth is all consuming. It invades your body, mind, and spirit. One of the ways I prepared my mind for Will’s birth was with birth quotes that I collected and kept on my phone, but this time around I decided to have some of my favorite quotes occupy a physical space in my home, and I thought I would share them here for anyone who is interested.

Just a note, there are so many fantastic quotes about birth; these are just a few of my favorites. I strongly believe in the power of language, specifically inspiring, positive language, so that is what these quotes convey for me along with a beautiful sense of empowerment. They're not in any kind of order here.

“No love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child.” -Jeffrey R Holland

“Birth can empower you for the rest of your life. Welcome it, and let birth transform you.” -Ursula Sabia Sukink

“It is said that women in labor leave their bodies. They travel to the stars to collect the souls of their babies and return to this world together.” -Unknown

“A woman in birth is at once her most powerful and her most vulnerable. But any woman who has birthed unhindered understands that we are stronger than we know.” -Marci Macari

“Labor will hurt. Probably a lot. But whether this is negative is another matter. A laboring woman can be in a great deal of pain, yet feel loved and supported and exhilarated by the creative forces flowing through her body and her ability to meet labor’s challenges.” -Henci Goer

“The power and intensity of your contractions cannot be stronger than you because it is you.” -Unknown

“Just as a woman’s heart knows how and when to pump her lungs to inhale and her hand to pull back from the fire, so she knows when and how to give birth.” -Virginia Di Orio

“I thought faith would be an epidural, taking away the pain and discomfort. But faith is more like a midwife-- a nurturing partner who leans into the discomfort with you and whispers, ‘Push and breathe, it’s supposed to hurt.’” -Brene Brown

“Although birth is only one day in the life of a woman, it has an imprint on her for the rest of her life.” -Justine Caines

“Birth is not neat and fast: it’s gritty and primal. But it’s nothing to fear. Unless you also think we ought to fear women crying when they are sad or laughing when they are happy.” -Mayim Bialik

“Empowerment, strength, individuality, passion, and joy are words that should be associated with birth for both mother and baby. It’s a journey to look forward to, not to fear. The process of leaving the womb and slipping into mama’s arms in one of life’s most magical, intense, and powerful transitions, and it should be given the respect and elation it deserves.” -Jill Diana Chasse

“There is a power that comes to women when they give birth. They don’t ask for it; it simply invades them, accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through, carrying the child with it.” -Sheryl Feldman

“Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers-- strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.” -Barbara Katz Rothman

“Imagine what might happen if women emerged from their labor beds with a renewed sense of the strength and power of their bodies and of their capacity for ecstasy through giving birth.” -Chistiane Northrup

“Bear, borne, carry, deliver. These are powerful...words. They convey help and hope for safe movement from where we are to where we need to be- but cannot get without assistance.” -Jeffrey R Holland

“The Creator is not a careless mechanic. Human female bodies have the same potential to give birth as well as aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elephants, moose, and water buffalo.” -Ina May Gaskin

“Birth isn’t something we suffer, but something we actively do and exult in.” -Sheila Kitzinger

“We have a secret in our culture. It’s not that birth is painful-- it’s that women are strong.” -Laura Stavoe Harm

Birth Team minus my mom
(She took this picture).