"The Perfect Birth"

I've commented before on how being pregnant is both deeply personal and widely communal, and one of the things that had entailed for me is hearing various views on what birth should be like. Growing up, I had quite a bit of exposure to conversations about childbirth, babies, breastfeeding, epidurals, pregnancy, and everything else related to motherhood. If my mom wasn't pregnant or nursing, chances were good that at least one of my aunts was, and I learned a lot by listening to their conversations. One of the things I learned was that “the perfect birth” was different for each mother's experience as well as for each baby that was born.

So upon becoming pregnant, I had to figure out what “the perfect birth” was going to look like for me. I put that phrase in quotation marks because I also learned that more often than not, things don't really go according to plan. Nevertheless, I wanted to do some research and figure out what was going to work best for us with the birth of this baby. My mom has been an amazing resource with her knowledge as both a mother and a doula, and I've been so grateful for her wisdom. But I also knew that there were a lot of things Tyler and I needed to decide for our family independent of all the wisdom of the people around us.

The first step for me was evaluating how I really feel about childbirth and my body. Thanks in part to my parents’ examples, I realized that I wanted to give birth without medication because I truly believe that birth is a natural process my body was designed to be a part of. Once I knew that that was truly how I felt, I started looking into all the different methods of natural childbirth and the different ways it is accomplished. After more research and pondering, I decided that what I really wanted was to have a water birth. I was drawn to the way a baby is able to move from the familiar amniotic fluid to the water before taking his first breath. Overall, a water birth just felt right, so all I needed to do after that was find a place and caregiver to deliver my baby in a tub.

Ultimately, that led us to The Birth Center. I did a lot of research to decide what kind of environment I wanted to give birth in, and after a tour and meeting the midwives at The Birth Center, I knew it was the right place for us for this birth. I've been so grateful for the education I've received as a client, and I trust the caregivers explicitly which was one of the most important things for me in choosing a provider and venue for our baby's debut. The midwives and birth center have truly blessed my life through my pregnancy, and I'm grateful to have been led to them through my research and prayer.

Now, I'm here: sitting on my couch, reflecting on my process of deciding what I want this birth to look like, playing the waiting game. I still feel grateful for the examples in my life and for the opportunity to make choices about the birth of our baby instead of having them made for me. I know I've been infinitely blessed to have a low risk pregnancy and a healthy baby. Those blessings are things I do not take for granted. I express gratitude daily for those gifts.

As with everything else, Tyler's support has been unending and essential. He has constantly helped me with everything I need. I know I'm lucky to have such an incredible life partner, and I'm looking forward to watching him be a dad. We took a Bradley Method class to help us prepare for labor, and when I registered, I was worried that Ty would suffer through it, but he ended up learning a lot and being a fabulous support and coach (so far anyway). His support has been a strength to me. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, he offers his love and perspective, and it never fails to make me feel better.

I know everyone has a different perspective on birth, and I think that's wonderful. I know that unmedicated childbirth in a tub sounds like a nightmare to some women, and that’s okay. Things probably won't go exactly how I plan anyway. I'm just so glad to be living in a time and place where I get to make proactive choices about my baby's and my birth experience and that I have Tyler by my side.